559. Monsters Like Leaning into the Rumours

559. Monsters Like Leaning into the Rumours

If anyone knows what to do in the face of unstoppable rumours, it’s the incomparable Stevie Nicks. There was her very public relationship (and its subsequent dissolution) in Fleetwood Mac—a relationship that still attracts headlines decades later. And then there was the darker rumour. The one that she fought through…

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558. Monsters Like the Phrase “New Year, New You”

558. Monsters Like the Phrase “New Year, New You”

It was immediately overused and quickly became cliche. To many, just the mere sound of the phrase is worse than press-on fingernails on a chalkboard. But for our purposes, there’s another prime reason to enjoy the phrase “New Year, New You.” For us, the phrase can be quite literal.  

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557. Monsters Like Putting Our Own Spin on the Holiday Season

557. Monsters Like Putting Our Own Spin on the Holiday Season

First, you start with a box. Then, you fill it with pox. Wrap it in bright-colored paper. Top it with a bow. What’s in it, you say? That’s the point of the thing—not to know. Then you hang an oversized sock over the fire. Fill it with a severed foot…

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556. Monsters Like Dancing through the Pain

556. Monsters Like Dancing through the Pain

There’s a complete supremacy in immortality. The conquest of life over death that mere mortals can only chance, but in the end, never know. Over the years, one experiences many sensations. One sees regimes rise and fall. New generations build resistance against the sins of their fathers. And yet, they…

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555. Monsters Like Second Marriages

555. Monsters Like Second Marriages

I heard you once told your mother you hated her for making you eat brussel sprouts. Betcha didn’t know they would become the “it” vegetable of 2016. Betcha feel pretty bad about making something over nothing. Because now your mom’s dead. Well, I’m here now, child. And I’m running this…

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554. Monsters Like Proving that Age is Just a Number

554. Monsters Like Proving that Age is Just a Number

40 years. That’s nothing compared to all the terror I’ve survived in those decades. 11. The number of iterations in which this monstrous soul has inflicted trauma. $33.3 million. The record amount you’re willing to pay on an opening day in October to see whether I have the last laugh.…

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553. Monsters Like Indulging our Sweet Tooth

553. Monsters Like Indulging our Sweet Tooth

You know what’s better than gnawing on a warm femur freshly torn from the body of a still-screaming victim? You thought we were going to say “nothing,” right? Wrong. Sucking out the savory marrow of a severed leg is delicious, don’t get us wrong. But sometimes, only something sweet will…

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552. Monsters Like Growing in Stature, and also, in Monsterness

552. Monsters Like Growing in Stature, and also, in Monsterness

“Through their trials and tribulations, cheerfulness and heartaches, they had remained beautiful to each other. Although their youth and innocence had slightly faded, it was silently known among them they were no longer little ghouls. They were now little monsters.”   —Quoted from Chapter 49 of Louisa May Alcott’s Little…

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