Don’t Order Popcorn: An SML Review of “A Quiet Place”

Rom-coms doubled their audiences with the bromance. Scifi and fantasy have reached unprecedented levels of popularity in recent years, now serving far more than just the “geek squad.” Everyone has always loved a good action hero. But in many ways, horror is still defined by who it is NOT for.…

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530. Monsters Like Watching Romantic Comedies

530. Monsters Like Watching Romantic Comedies

Can you imagine slaving all day…and night…at work just to come back to your cave and have to do more of the same at home? Sometimes, you just need to drop out, tune off, and enjoy a break from the day-to-day tasks of your career. Even if it is your…

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529. Monsters Like Having Thick Coats

Whether it’s a natural product of our uranium-fueled evolution or an inspired fashion choice, having a thick coat is key for monsters. They keep you warm when you’re chasing your prey through the woods. They help protect you from poorly flung weaponry, from pen knives to artillery blasts (depending on…

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528. Monsters Like When You Torture Yourselves

Covering your entire body with acupuncture needles. Pulling your butthole out through your eye sockets. An endless lecture series on Excel spreadsheet formulas. Staycations in Toledo. We can get pretty creative with our tortures. But nothing beats the relentless, anxiety-ridden tortures you heap upon yourselves when you think you deserve…

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527. Monsters Like Alliterative Killings, Part Deux

527. Monsters Like Alliterative Killings, Part Deux

Today’s killings brought to you by the letter “C”! The crazy, cut-throat clown craved the capture and crucifiction of: carolers, college kids, clerks, construction workers, Captain Crunch, Canadians cooks, custodians and Charisma Carpenter.  

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Never Nap with a Loaded Rifle: An SML Review of “The Sasquatch Murder”

If you follow news surrounding the evolution of man—as we all do—you’ll know that every few months, archaeologists seem to come across a new tooth, jawbone, or pinky toe that could rewrite early human history as we know it. When did humanity first wander out of Africa? At what point…

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