509. Monsters Like Farm-Fresh Produce

509. Monsters Like Farm-Fresh Produce

You’re walking through the produce section of your local grocery chain, making a wide right turn around the garlic cloves. Suddenly, right in front of you: The largest cardboard bin of pumpkins you’ve ever seen! Big ones, small ones, many literally as big as your head. It’s a pumpkin smorgasbord!…

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Our Mascot’s Mega Monster Movie Marathon Method

You guys! Tomorrow is Friday the 13th. In October—the same month as Halloween! Such a morbidly magical occurrence happens only once every…five or six years, depending on leap years. What a wondrous occasion demanding immediate recognition! At the SML Haunted Mansion and Blog Laboratory, we’re celebrating with an epic, 19-day…

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508. Monsters Like Proving How Much Nazis Suck

508. Monsters Like Proving How Much Nazis Suck

So, the vampires are Nazis because the Third Reich wanted to reign for thousands of years and never die? Or, is it the other way around? The Nazis are vampires because vampires drain the life from a society, working in evil darkness, and slowly infect the entire world? Either way,…

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507. Monsters Like Seeing the Eiffel Tower Just Once before They Die

507. Monsters Like Seeing the Eiffel Tower Just Once before They Die

Who would find such beauty in rusting wrought iron? What type of being is fascinated by one of the world’s largest lightning rods? Just like the ones found in Doctor Frankenstein’s laboratory that brought life to cold flesh. Which kind of creature would be enchanted by a metal object that…

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Who’s Ready for a Xanax?: An SML Review of mother!

There are movie reviews that help you decide if you want to somehow drop $27 for a matinee showing or wait until it’s streaming for free. And there are movie reviews that help you unpack the cinematographic madness that you just witnessed so your head doesn’t feel like it’s been…

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505. Monsters Like Dust Busters

505. Monsters Like Dust Busters

You know the hardest part about haunting a house for a hundred years? Keeping it clean. You pesky kids break my windows to sneak in and do your sordid acts of rebellion. You get candle wax and chalk dust all over my nice hardwood floors. And then some man with…

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