516. Monsters Like Cryostasis

Bears and bats hibernate in the winter. As temperatures cool and snow drifts begin to build, they cozy up with their kin and settle down for the proverbial long winter’s nap. Insects burrow into the ground, content to miss entire seasons—sometimes upwards of a couple decades! Plants of all types…

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515. Monsters Like Putting Your Holiday Anxiety in the Form of Song

515. Monsters Like Giving You Holiday Anxiety

On the first day of Christmas, the Yule Lads brought to me A raw potato in my right shoe   On the second day of Christmas, we left for Stekkjarstaur Two glasses of warm sheep’s milk   On the third day of Christmas, we left for Pvoruskleikir Three batter-covered spoons…

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A Severed Foot is the Ultimate Stocking Stuffer: An SML Monster News Roundup

SÉANCE: Spiritualist Ritual and the Search for Ectoplasm, Shannon Taggart

In the space of time between Samhain and Yule, we’ve officially passed the midpoint. Ahead we see naught but snow, fog, and a sickening amount of holiday cheer. Take a break from trimming the tree for just a moment. Even though 2016 marked the height of the Krampus, 2017 still…

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514. Monsters Like Keeping Our Secrets

514. Monsters Like Keeping Our Secrets

Everyone is entitled to their privacy, right? Everyone is burdened by their past and worthy of a future free of that crushing weight. Correct? Ghouls of all types prefer to keep our pasts close to the vest. We shy away from the glass houses of metaphor and the illumination of…

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513. Monsters Like Onions

513. Monsters Like Onions

Ogres have layers. But creatures of the night like onions for a completely different reason. Sure, we are excellent chefs. Onions, shallots, and other pungent vegetables feature regularly in our home recipes and at dinner with friends. They help balance the taste of various meats and work great on the…

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512. Monsters Like Gas-Station Barbecue

You may not know what you’re getting into when you pick up food at a gas station, but you pretty much know what you’re getting into. Dig? Hot dogs are bound to be as tough and leathery as your Great Aunt Ida after a trip to the beach. Coffee will…

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511. Monsters Like Being the Life of Your Halloween Party

511. Monsters Like Being the Life of Your Halloween Party

Every party has one—the center of attention, the lady killer, the guy who never needs “to sober up so he can drive home soon.” It could be you, you know. I mean, that’s what Lyft is for, right? This Halloween, try these three tips and become the life of the…

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Eating of the Insane Root: An SML Review of “DIS”

Among the many legends about mandrake, cousin to potatoes and member of the nightshade family, are images of fertility, delirium, magic, ritual, pain, sin, and death. So feared were the strangely human-shaped roots, that they featured numerous times throughout Shakespeare’s works. It was said that dogs had to be “sacrificed”…

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