The Great Vampire Challenge

Dimitri Coats_Suck

SML is always at the forefront of new trends in fashion, entertainment, and technology. After all, we were developing fad diets long before anyone on the West Coast. So, when a secret source told us that vampires are the next big thing, we wanted to look back in time to determine which film has the “most vampirey” plot line of all time!

 

How We Did It

The SML minions compiled 50 points of criteria in eight core areas determined to create the quintessential vampire. These criteria are common and historical features that harken back to the original myth. For instance, a good “vampirey” movie may feature vampires who are pale (1), have fangs (2), and can’t go out in the sunlight (3). That would be three points to the total score for the film.

SML Vamp Movie Checklist Sheet1The eight criteria categories are:

  1. Appearance
  2. Sex
  3. Blood!
  4. Superpowers
  5. Weaknesses
  6. Relationship/Personality
  7. Community
  8. History & Environment

 

How Your Favorite Vampire Movies Rank

This list does not include any television shows, standalone episodes, short films, or video games. Points are out of 50 criteria. Top score is in GREEN; bottom score is in RED.

TITLE
SCORE
30 Days of Night 18
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 24
Blade 27
Blade II 33
Blade: Trilogy 34
Andy Warhol Presents Blood for Dracula 17
Bram Stoker’s Dracula 31
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 29
Byzantium 11
Cronos 11
Daybreakers 26
Dracula (1931) 23
Dracula 3000 15
Embrace of the Vampire 13
The Fearless Vampire Killers 14
Fright Night (2011) 21
From Dusk Till Dawn 16
Horror of Dracula 19
House of Dark Shadows 19
The Hunger 8
Interview with a Vampire 31
John Carpenter’s Vampires 26
Kiss of the Damned 15
Let the Right One In 19
The Lost Boys 31
My Sucky Teenage Romance 22
Near Dark 16
Nosferatu 14
Shadow of the Vampire 6
Suck 16
Twilight (series) 20
Underworld 12
Vampire’s Kiss 10
What We Do in the Shadows 32

Suggest a Movie

Know any vampire movies we haven’t covered yet that you think might be a contender for “most vampirey” movie of all time? Just curious about how a particularly awful film may rank? Leave us your suggestions in the comments below.

This is an ongoing project, so revisit this page for periodic updates.

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