384. Monsters Like Being in Denial about their own State of Undeath

“I’m not fat, I’m just big-boned.” “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” “I’ve got something better than a six pack; I’ve got a whole keg.” You mortals and your tiring obsession with your weight. We watch TV. We see the commercials: exercise machines and Weight Watchers programs followed by …

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379. Monsters Like Being Young … Forever!

When you think of timeless beauties, who do you think of? Helen of Troy? It’s true, her beauty could sink a thousand ships. Cleopatra? A deadly beauty, to be sure. Okay, who else: Grace Kelly. Marilyn Monroe. Audrey Hepburn. Sure. They weren’t responsible for that many deaths. But I guess …

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