SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: We Should Just Stab Caesar!

Don’t you just hate the Ides of March? Don’t you hate it mostly because you can never exactly remember what it means? You: Is it Ides today? Well, it’s not today. And you might be wondering why we’re telling you about the Ides on the wrong day. We just like …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Artemis Spits on Your Grave

Who here was able to sit through I Spit on Your Grave?   Who here didn’t know the premise of the movie and, within the first thirty minutes, ended up like this? Or this? Did you watch it alone on Netflix? Did you try to fight back? Did you just …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’ on the River (Part 2 of 2)

When we last saw Stuff Monsters Like Ancient Correspondence: The point is, Niobe is bereft of the very things she was boasting about which lead to her ruin. And it gets worse. Now this week’s episode: According to Achilles… Wait. Hey, Achilles. Just wanted to say, ‘hey.’ Thanks, Achilles. Hector, …

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Just a Taste of Hemlock: A Final Look at Orestes

This is a picture of a piglet brushing its teeth: Here’s a picture of Orestes being purified for the murder of his mother (and cousin) by being bathed in the blood of a baby pig: Sorry, we’re not sorry. Check out SML for regular posts from our New Ancient Correspondent …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Proud Niobe Keep on Burnin’ (Part 1 of 2)

A dear friend of Stuff Monsters Like, let’s call her Samara-if-she-had-advanced-past-the-age-of-early-adolescence, spent her 30th birthday adamantly alone drinking a 12-pack of beer and a fifth of whiskey until she passed out on the kitchen floor in her high school prom dress, which no longer fit. Now that’s not bad, not …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Putting the “Fun” in Dysfunctional (Part 3 of a 3-Part Series)

Click here to read Part 1, or click here to read Part 2 of the Orestes Saga. So, to recap: dysfunctional family is dysfunctional for generations up to Orestes, who has just learned that his mother and her lover have killed his father. Filial duty dictates that Orestes avenge his …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: And Father of the Year Goes to… (Part 2 of a 3-Part Series)

We ended our last post with Aegisthus, who killed his uncle after Atreus served Aegisthus’ father (*cough* and grandfather *cough*) his older children to him as a main course. Aegisthus killed again, but before we get to that murder, let’s look at the victim, Agamemnon. It’s difficult to think of …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Awkward Family Tics (Part 1 of a 3-Part Series)

The holidays are finally over and that means it’s finally time to rid yourself of your family for another year. We here at Stuff Monsters Like know all about your family. We spend an inordinate amount of time watching them from the windows late at night and examining their things …

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