SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: No, No, NOOOOOOOOOO

What do you do when you see the creepy crawlies running up and down your legs? Just imagine walking through the yard. It’s a nice day. The sun is shining and the breeze is blowing across your skin. Suddenly your step falters. You look down and see that your leg …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: We Should Just Stab Caesar!

Don’t you just hate the Ides of March? Don’t you hate it mostly because you can never exactly remember what it means? You: Is it Ides today? Well, it’s not today. And you might be wondering why we’re telling you about the Ides on the wrong day. We just like …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: You Were the Wind Beneath My Wings, Hercules

Last post, we were like: Okay, you were like: But we had a whale of a time, and that’s all that really matters. So, let’s recapture that magic, dear reader. In our last post we learned about Hercules’ murder of Megara and their children. There’s something you need to know …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Disney, No You Didn’t!

Who’s that guy? Oh, yeah, who’s that guy? Disney told you, dear readers, when you were so small and sweet. Your muscles were tender, like a lamb’s, and you still had a healthy amount of baby fat that would have brought the flavors together. All you would have needed was …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Artemis Spits on Your Grave

Who here was able to sit through I Spit on Your Grave?   Who here didn’t know the premise of the movie and, within the first thirty minutes, ended up like this? Or this? Did you watch it alone on Netflix? Did you try to fight back? Did you just …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’ on the River (Part 2 of 2)

When we last saw Stuff Monsters Like Ancient Correspondence: The point is, Niobe is bereft of the very things she was boasting about which lead to her ruin. And it gets worse. Now this week’s episode: According to Achilles… Wait. Hey, Achilles. Just wanted to say, ‘hey.’ Thanks, Achilles. Hector, …

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Just a Taste of Hemlock: A Final Look at Orestes

This is a picture of a piglet brushing its teeth: Here’s a picture of Orestes being purified for the murder of his mother (and cousin) by being bathed in the blood of a baby pig: Sorry, we’re not sorry. Check out SML for regular posts from our New Ancient Correspondent …

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SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Proud Niobe Keep on Burnin’ (Part 1 of 2)

A dear friend of Stuff Monsters Like, let’s call her Samara-if-she-had-advanced-past-the-age-of-early-adolescence, spent her 30th birthday adamantly alone drinking a 12-pack of beer and a fifth of whiskey until she passed out on the kitchen floor in her high school prom dress, which no longer fit. Now that’s not bad, not …

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