112. Monsters Like Returning Every Halloween

Every now and then, a ghoul or goblin will return to the world of the living on the anniversary of their death. That’s all well and good, as long as the people you’re haunting realize the significance.

“What’s the point in being a May 3 ghost?” their friends will ask, as your would-be victim shrugs his shoulders.

To avoid this kind of embarrassing confusion, monsters prefer to return on days that are more widely known. There’s the chocolate-stealing Valentine’s Day troll, the bum-pinching St. Patty’s Day leprechauns, the smelly cheese-scented Bastille Day goblin. But by and large, monsters like returning on Halloween.

After all, returning every Flag Day seems lame. How much of a bad-ass can you be then?

The one holiday exception that we know is John Denver. His ghost returns every Arbor Day. He’s one scary mo-fo.

Jimmy

Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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