The respectable party monster LIVES Halloween. It is more than just one special day every year. It’s a lifestyle.
And so, many of these spooky decorations may look unfamiliar to the lay-monster or the average Halloween-loving human. There are no foam tombstones and plastic spiders in this set. No, sir.
Take a look through this list and I bet you’ll want them in your own home, all year round. In fact, I’m so confident, I’d stake your life on it.
1. Killer Lawn Gnomes: Lawn care-nage has never looked as cute. These lawn gnomes could take out your whole guest list, if you’re not careful. Be sure to keep them outside, with the trick-or-treaters.
2. Felt Skull Rug: Nothing says, “Welcome!” like a giant skull at the entrance to the room. Perfect at the front door, in the bathroom, or at the foot of your child’s crib.
3. Wall art: From full-coverage tiles to clever and beautifully wicked patterns and images, these self-adhesive decals are easily moved – making them great just at Halloween or all year round.
4. Bat Fan: Functional. Elegant. Exactly the ambiance and attitude that your average ceiling fan is missing. Can also double in use for next year’s superhero-themed bar mitzvah.
5. Movie Poster: Everyone has a room with a poster on the wall. I’m sure even Donald Trump has one somewhere. To class it up a little, make sure your poster is pretty, educational, and can still give your guests the heebee-geebees. And, for darkness sake, put it in a frame.
6. Cake: The best party decoration is food. Everyone agrees. Some of the creepiest cakes come from Miss Cakehead and her circle of demented baker friends, including the Conjurer’s Kitchen. Gotta love a cake that can both turn a head and turn a stomach.
7. Plates: Why serve that gorgeous cake on flimsy paper plates? Get something nice – something that will make a loud noise when shattered against the head of the first guest who wants to leave the party. Muahahahaha!
8. Decorative Skulls: Perfect for the mantle, dining room, or bedside table. These skulls show that even the dead and disembodied can be dressed up (1), and that beauty and brains can sometimes go together (2).
9. Decorative statues: Great for the bookshelf, and a fun DIY weekend project. But if you’re going to make one, why bother with modeling clay and pipe cleaners? Use real animal bone.
10. Coffin couch: The perfect couch for sleeping the day away. Also, the fabric is non-absorbant, so if your party guests spill some blood, ahem, I mean wine, you can just wipe it off and go back to the party.
11. Anglerfish Lantern: It may be a big ticket item, but it’s well worth the money. Can you just imagine sending your guest to the bathroom just to have this be the only light in the otherwise black room? Staring at them as they sit on the toilet? Yeah. Worth the money.
12. Chandelier: A bacteria-rich chandelier is the most breathtaking decoration in a monster’s mansion…until something falls in the food. Watch what – or who – you eat around this one.
13. Meat Chair: Sure, you’re planning on making one from the skins of your party guests who eat more than their allotted share of bacon-wrapped jalapeno tater tots. But this one will likely last longer, and won’t smell of fear and meat fat.