130. Monsters Like When You Open the Tomb

We’ve been waiting for you.

For centuries, we’ve sat in the cold, damp silence of our tomb. We’ve lost strength, we’ve lost body mass, we’ve slowly been eaten alive by flesh-eating beetles. But the one thing we have held onto was our hope.

Hope that one day some dumb American would open our tomb and free us to the world.

And now that glorious day has come!

We will celebrate by killing you and all those you love. Then we will unleash our evil magic and centuries of anger and frustration upon the globe.

And we couldn’t have done it without your help.

Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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