Exercise is just a lie told by the health nuts and marathon sponsors.
I’ve lived for millennia. I’ve traveled across time and lived through all the major rises and falls of civilizations around the world. When I was young, I hunted and gathered, I followed the buffalo, and I built some of the greatest feats of architecture on Earth. By hand.
I was the perfect picture of majesty and good health.
And you know what?
One day I just keeled over. A victim of clogged arteries.
So take it from me. You’re just as well off on the couch with your Cheetos. Don’t make those Mad Men reruns wait for you to finish that jog. Just go ahead and watch them now.
Before someone embalms your eyeballs and puts them in a canopic jar.