26. Monsters Like Weak-Ankled Women

Monsters understand the benefits of exercise.

While most people power walk in place of their lunch break or go for a jog after dinner, monsters prefer to combine their mealtime with cardio work. Since they’re chased almost as often as they chase others, it is important to maintain a high level of physical fitness and endurance.

Weak-ankled women can be a god send.

After a long day of working out and preparing the next apocalypse (stay tuned for future post), all you want is a nice simple, quick meal. Weak-ankled women are like the monster equivalent to a fast food meal – if you’ll pardon the pun. There’s nothing quite so satisfying as knowing that your dinner can be easily picked up and walked away with, and that there’s only a minimal wait time between picking out which combo you want and sitting down to eat. Pretty much, all you have to do is chase her at a reasonable distance, and wait patiently for her to far down on her own, twist her ankle, and be helpless to your mercy.

Might as well come pre-covered in ketchup.

...that might not be ketchup.

…that might not be ketchup.


Special thanks to “Gary” for his suggestion for this topic.

Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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