371. Monsters Like Holding Grudges Better than Most Scorpios

I overhead this guy at the bar the other day. He was sitting with two of his friends, and telling them a very loud story about his ex-girlfriend. I won’t bore you with the horribly discriminatory, expletive-filled details, but – long story short – she keyed his car.

OOoooh! A keyed car. How awful!

The bartender mumbled something to the guy about vengeful Scorpios. And to be fair, they are the most stubborn and spiteful of all the signs. Even a pretty sturdy monster like me prefers to avoid their bad side.

But, brother, a Scorpio is nothing compared to a slighted dead lover.

You think a keyed car is a big deal, dude? Try an ex-lover who followed you across the country to interrupt your newly-patched marriage by harassing your wife with news of his love child, only to eternally haunt the house you own, drive your wife to madness, steal your newborn baby, and toss you off your balcony to your mortal demise. Only to wait for her next opportunity to make your afterlife a misery.

Now, THAT is how you hold a grudge.


Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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