394. Monsters Like Really, Really Strong Moisturizer

They say your body changes every seven years. Your hair, skin, every cell in your body is different than it was seven years ago. Most of the time these cyclical changes go unnoticed. But as you age, your hair may become coarser or your lips may become more sensitive to cold weather.

Small changes over time are normal.

Lately, I’ve found that my skin just isn’t as clear and firm as it used to be. For some reason, I’ve been seeing more fine lines and crow’s feet. At first I was worried that my skin had been sun damaged, but Portland doesn’t get a ton of sun.

It can’t be from smoking, either, because I don’t smoke. I have been known to burn a few bridges though. Could the damage be from the secondhand effects of a little light arson?

Well, whatever the cause may be, I’m just glad I’ve discovered Dr. Grove’s Tasteless Retinol Tonic. Now with enough retinol to pickle you from the inside out.


This post brought to you by Dr. Grove’s Tasteless Retinol Tonic. It’s One Biest of a Moisturizer.

Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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