419. Monsters Like Kidnapping Babies

The burdens of an entire kingdom sit upon your shoulders when you are the Goblin King. You try to indulge in your true interests, like complicated city planning, but small-time crises and squabble inevitably call your attention. After a while, your days are filled with naught but boredom and tights fittings.

Labyrinth 1

It’s time to take action! Why mope around your stone castle all day when there are hundreds of gullible teenage girls out in the world to manipulate! In fact, what’s that sound.

Yes. It is! I can hear one summoning me now!

Labyrinth 2

Well, well, Sarah. Has your hatred for your half brother led you to this? Fine. If you insist. I will take young Toby away. He’ll make a fine goblin. Maybe I will even call him Stripey.

We’re going to have a lot of fun together, aren’t we, Stripey.

Labyrinth 3

Hey, Stripey! You remind me of a babe. Don’t be coy—you know what babe: the babe with the power. Oh, come on! You remember what power….

Anyway. What do you say we hold a ball? I know you probably don’t have much experience with balls, but you don’t have to worry. I’ll teach you to dance. The secret is all in your buoyancy.

Dance, baby, dance.



Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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