440. Monsters Like a Loyal House Staff

It’s really difficult to find good help these days. It used to be that employees prized their loyalty as much as did their employers. I remember the good old days when housekeepers would just let you leave your crazy wife in the attic for years on end without any argument or gossip. Because that’s what housekeepers were for.

Ah, those were the days.

Nowadays, the level of gratitude your house staff has for your magnanimity for keeping them alive is inversely proportional to their ability to run away and work for a “safe” employer.


In any case, loyalty can usually be bought. Most bodyguards and mercenaries will stick with you as long as the cash keeps flowing. If you have the cash to dole out, and don’t mind employees with no conscience, that strategy works just fine. But honestly, who wants to waste that much money when there’s an easier, cheaper, more fear-ridden way to manage the people who cater to your every whim.

Loyalty can be demanded. It sounds counterintuitive, but it can be done. All you have to do is dig a little into their heads. Or force them to dig a little into their own necks.

Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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