443. Monsters Like Telling Their Significant Other to Go Easy on the Calories

We don’t actually recommend this in the real world. Most of the time, if you love somebody, you love everything about them. But not monsters, especially Godzilla.

His love interests must weigh like a bajillion pounds anyway. What do a few pounds extra even matter to a monster that is taller than a skyscraper?

Sure. Maybe recommending low calorie options to a monster works just fine. Maybe it even calms and appeases them. Who knows?

But we doubt Godzilla is brave enough to try to recommend a diet drink option to a human female.

Yeah, we didn’t think so, big green dude. We didn’t think so.



Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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