45. Monsters Like Using Their Superhuman Abilities to Win the Big Game

Why play fair when you are a werewolf?

Playing fair is for mortals and losers. And most of the time, mortals and losers are the same thing.

That ball isn’t going to dunk itself.

Wolf-Dunk it!

That’s what I’m talkin’ bout. Show them that when they encounter a werewolf in gym shorts and a headband, he means business.

And my business is winning.

That tall center on the other team is playing dirty.

Wolf-Guard him!

Lock up your daughters. I’m the furriest, free-throwingest, forward out there. We’re going to take our division. May even win state.

Remember this. If the rule book does not say you cannot gnaw off opponent’s fingers, it’s not a foul.




Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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