47. Monsters Like Sewers

There is nothing monsters appreciate more than a good dose of radiation (see previous post). But, man, toxic sludge sure does come close. And what better place to find all the toxic sludge you could ever possibly hope for than in the sewers of a large, polluted city?

City sewers serve many purposes for residents. I’m sure a city planner could tell you all about them. We don’t care. To us, sewers have a meaning as rich and deep as the water we trudge through when we navigate them. For one thing, sewers are a good way to get around without being noticed. Not every monster is quite graceful enough to run across the rooftops in the dark, and even the most agile of monsters has trouble in cities without close, centralized planning. Like L.A. Try jumping from rooftop to rooftop in a city that big and that spread out and just see how far you get.

No, sir. In those cases, sewers are the way to go.

Furthermore, you wouldn’t believe some of the fun stuff that people flush down their drains! Sure, after a good hard rain or relaxing mud slide all kinds of stuff comes in through storm drains: baseballs, car keys, lawn gnomes. But sometimes I swear you people are trying to get rid of your treasures! Every day I find at least a dozen perfectly fresh dead goldfish. Who loves the fishes ‘cause they’re so delicious? I do.


Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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