572. Monsters Like Statistically Improbable Deaths

Statistically probable deaths are so boring. They’re ubiquitous. Most people will die from a predictable and probable death. These include heart disease, cancer, diabetes, strokes, and Alzheimer’s disease.

Mostly brought on by lack of exercise, bad diet, or bad genetics.

Most people you know, including yourself, will die from one (or a mixture) of the above ailments.

Do you know how many people died last year after being chopped up by machetes? Nobody. No one. Hundreds of millions of people around and not one person died from being chopped up by a machete.

This would be considered a statistically improbable death.

But, for us monsters, it’s the improbable deaths that are the most exciting.

So, if you ever find yourself getting hacked up by a machete, just imagine how unique that is and how lucky you are.Dang, we’re jealous already.


Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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