We’ve all been there. Strapped to a machine specifically designed to suck the life out of you. We hear the machine begin to warm up.
“Why are you doing this!” we shout desperately, searching for meaning with what are likely our last remaining breaths.
We hear our evil captor cackle in triumph, and then something unexpected happens.
The machine stops.
He actually wants to answer your question. Not only is he glad you asked, but he’s glad to see that someone – anyone – cares about his dreams and goals.
He will reveal his diabolical plan to you in painstaking detail. Even more, he will tell you the reasons behind the plan, and why he chose to destroy you instead of your more attractive, blonde, virgin neighbor.
But be prepared, dear victim! In revealing his plan, your evil captor will only get more keyed up and eager to destroy you, body and soul. If you and your goofy sidekicks don’t time your inevitable rescue properly, he might just succeed at making you mostly dead.