78. Monsters Like Inhabiting Abandoned Houses With “Dubious” Pasts

Monsters have been spotted living in many strange places around the world. I personally know an evil gnome who lives solely inside one of Bigfoot’s left footprints. But spooky old houses offer a number of things not available in barns, trailers, or your Uncle Rob’s duplex apartment.

The rent is cheap. There is no one to bother you. Toss in an urban legend about mass suicide or serial killers, and you’ve got the trifecta!

What the humans call a fixer-upper is a ghoul’s dream home, until people move in and try to fix the house up.

That’s why we monsters terrify the new arrivals. We are the world’s true first line of defense against gentrification. This neighborhood was perfect. Creepy, run-down, and downright putrid.

Trust us. If you had to choose between disembodied screaming goblins or yuppies with perfectly manicured lawns, we know which you truly prefer.



Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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