9. Monsters Like Vintage Bed Sheets

Every disembodied spirit has needs. Children to scare. Places to haunt. Clean, white bed sheets for attire. But in the last several decades, finding the proper, plain linens has become difficult. Would you be frightened of an invisible spirit wearing a bed sheet decorated with Luke Skywalker? What about the Power Puff Girls, or Hannah Montana? I seriously doubt it.

Next time you’re in the sheet aisle at the department store, you will understand. Toy Story bed sheets are not spooky. But plain white, bleached, bright, clean, sunshine fresh sheets are terrifying.

Having an abundance of pristine sleepwear frees up the spirits for more lofty pursuits, such as rattling chains and stealing scissors for cutting eye holes.

Printed bed sheet


Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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