99. Monsters Like Guarding the Treasure, Fair Maidens, or the Gates to Hades

Most monsters are just blue collars ghouls. We only demand an honest day’s pay for a hard day’s work. And working security jobs are what we do best.

For millennia, we have spent our days fighting off Greek heroes, standing at the bottom of fairy tale castles, and arguing with our second and third heads while treasure hunters try to steal our precious relics and piles of gold.

If you think you have what it takes to steal my hoard of jewels, then please step forward. You look like you will crisp up very nicely with my fire breath. My middle stomach is feeling empty.



Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.