582. Monsters Like Non-Sequitur Sequels

582. Monsters Like Non-Sequitur Sequels

All the kids want a new Silver Shamrock Co. mask for Halloween.  In fact, so many kids want it, you could almost accuse the manufacturer of mind control.  Whatever happened to the inside-out Shatner mask from the first two movies?  Halloween III must be a non-sequitur sequel. It did bring…

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581. Monsters Like When the Halloween Store Comes to Town

581. Monsters Like When the Halloween Store Comes to Town

Do you know how hard it is to find a good fog machine off season? Do you know how much slime we go through in a single month? When the Halloween store opens in the previously abandoned Kmart each fall, it gives us a chance to stock up on all…

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580. Monsters Like Game Night

The ceremony was beautiful. The reception was fun. The champagne fountain has run dry. Now, here you are on your wedding night—How will you possibly spend the time?! Why not stay up until dawn playing games with your brand new, nutso in-laws? It’s every bride’s dream wedding night, right? Hey,…

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579. Monsters Like Long, Cool Drinks of Water

Monsters Like Long, Cool Drinks of Water

You know what’s wrong with this planet? It’s too hot, and it’s too dry.  We’re practically useless on dry land. Just a lumpy, inert mass in our shriveled stasis. Luckily, you skeletal creatures are 70% water. And you’ve figured out a system for freshwater delivery to make up the difference.…

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578. Monsters Like Stony Ground

Most people tend to their ground to make it more fertile. They add compost and fertilizers. They plant crops. They till the ground, and they reap what they sow. There is a season for everything under the sun. And it is good. But what happens when a ground has been…

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577. Monsters Like Learning the Big Family Secret

Adolescence is difficult.  Your body begins to go through changes. You’re hungry all the time. Hair starts sprouting where it has not before. Your sleeping habits change, and suddenly you enjoy staying up later. And to make matters worse, the fate of your school’s basketball season falls squarely on your…

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576. Monsters Like Making the Audience Uncomfortable

576. Monsters Like Making the Audience Uncomfortable

There are two big things that monsters love about horror movies. The first is pretty obvious. We love rampaging across your screen, bringing terror to the hapless teenagers running through the woods. Or to the young girl possessed by a demon from Hell. Or to the citizens of Tokyo as…

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575. Monsters Like Making an Appearance in Your Bedtime Stories

Science shows that a bedtime ritual is important for preparing both the mind and the body for sleep. Drink a cup of warm milk. Brush your teeth. Put on socks. Take off socks. Whatever you do in your routine, you probably do it more or less every night. And the…

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