Some days you can’t win. Your hair may be on point. Your lipstick may be perfect. But for some reason, nothing is going right. You feel out of sorts. Your girls will NOT stop screwing things up. And some virgin lit the black flame candle and stole your favorite book.…
All the kids want a new Silver Shamrock Co. mask for Halloween. In fact, so many kids want it, you could almost accuse the manufacturer of mind control. Whatever happened to the inside-out Shatner mask from the first two movies? Halloween III must be a non-sequitur sequel. It did bring…
Do you know how hard it is to find a good fog machine off season? Do you know how much slime we go through in a single month? When the Halloween store opens in the previously abandoned Kmart each fall, it gives us a chance to stock up on all…
40 years. That’s nothing compared to all the terror I’ve survived in those decades. 11. The number of iterations in which this monstrous soul has inflicted trauma. $33.3 million. The record amount you’re willing to pay on an opening day in October to see whether I have the last laugh.…
Monsters get restless in the days before Halloween! We’re not very patient creatures, after all. Over the years, we monsters have developed* a series of Halloween Week holidays to help us get into the spooky spirit while letting us create mayhem well before our neighbors are prepared. So, grab your cape,…
Because she made it flippin’ mandatory for all sit-coms to do a cool Halloween episode every season. And if your show does NOT do a cool Halloween episode, then you suck. That’s it. Eternal thanks to Roseanne.
Every party has one—the center of attention, the lady killer, the guy who never needs “to sober up so he can drive home soon.” It could be you, you know. I mean, that’s what Lyft is for, right? This Halloween, try these three tips and become the life of the…
With deals like that, you can’t dig the graves fast enough.
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Featuring movie essays from the Head Monsters of SML and others that explore our love for horror cinema! Published by the Collinsport Historical Society.
