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Home Archive by category "Lessons in Living with Humans: Ancient Correspondence & Hellhounds Handbook" (Page 4)

Category: Lessons in Living with Humans: Ancient Correspondence & Hellhounds Handbook

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Babies – Don’t Do It

Rosemary’s Baby had an effect on us here at Stuff Monsters Like which put some us off babies all together. But sometimes we find ourselves inextricably drawn to these wonderful balls of fluff and sweetness. So we started compiling a compendium of reasons to stay away from babies and the…

Read more…if you dare

Megan Miller July 22, 2013 February 27, 2017

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: How to Satiate an Ancient Hunger

Zombies are the beer of the dark supernatural world. At first taste, they are unspeakably gross. But the more times you consume either, the more you begin to appreciate their bitter character, until at once you are surprised to find yourself yearning for one. The desire for one is all…

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Megan Miller July 8, 2013 February 27, 2017

Hellhounds Handbook: Romania Wins the “Making Death Fun” Prize

Say what you want to about Romanians. But they sure do have a sense of humor about dying. Well, at least they do in the tiny little burg of Sapanta. When its residents pass away, they are lampooned for all eternity. I think this is what you call adding insult…

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Jimmy July 4, 2013 May 24, 2020

Hellhounds Handbook: Being Dead in China Doesn’t Pay Like it Used To

Being a corpse in Beijing is hard work. Call me an old fashioned capitalist, but I believe that a grueling day of labor deserves good pay. Oh, you don’t think being a corpse is hard work, do you? Well, I’ve seen people lined up at job fairs, I’ve seen people…

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Jimmy June 20, 2013 February 27, 2017

Hellhounds Handbook: No Vacancy for the Living

Do you have a problem with trespassers and vagrants always congregating on your lawn? Do you wish you could just make all of these ordinance-disobeying hooligans go away? Well now you can. Apparently, nothing keeps litter, the homeless, and neighborhood kids off your lawn like some good, old-fashioned, run of…

Read more…if you dare

Jimmy June 6, 2013 May 24, 2020

Hellhounds Handbook: Galactic Poet or Word Insurgent? You Be the Judge

I’ve always dreamed about spreading my awful word prose around the galaxy, and now my wishes can be fulfilled. I have answered the call from NASA to become an intergalactic poet. NASA is launching its MAVEN spacecraft to Mars in November, 2013. The probe will examine why the red planet…

Read more…if you dare

Jimmy May 23, 2013 May 23, 2020

Hellhounds Handbook: Need A Good Job? 4 Effective Ways to Mourn For the Dead For Fun and Profit

Would you come to my funeral and cry if I paid you? Funerals are supposed to be dismal and depressing. We’re told the dead are in a better place, or their passing was for the best because they were suffering. Many people like to remind us that the recently-deceased are…

Read more…if you dare

Jimmy May 9, 2013 May 24, 2020

Hellhounds Handbook: Every Town Needs A Mad Scientist

Can you name the mad scientist in your town? You can’t? Well Asheville, North Carolina, definitely had a mad scientist, and his name was Bob Moog. Old black and white photos show the man in his youth, hair disheveled, transistors and diodes and wires hanging all around his laboratory. He…

Read more…if you dare

Jimmy April 25, 2013 May 17, 2020
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