These posts are related to stuff monsters like. Imagine that….
Monsters consider limping to be something more than just a dance fad or cultural identifier. For monsters, it’s a way of life. Literally. I was having lunch with King Tut’s mummy on Tuesday, and he was telling me how unbelievably difficult it is to get around after spending thousands of…
Hanging around the murky depths of the lagoon all day makes it hard for an eligible monster to meet chicks. When the opportunity presents itself, any swamp freak worth its gills should jump at the chance. Many girls who visit the lagoon just sit on the banks, maybe throw a…
Revenge is a tricky thing. When an average man from rural Oklahoma with a past as an assassin commits an act of revenge by pursuing and killing someone responsible for shooting his wife and child in the middle of committing a drug store robbery, Hollywood makes a $400 million blockbuster…
Can you imagine a better sunny afternoon than one spent sitting by a pond on a picnic blanket with a friend and a basket of snacks? It’s peaceful, idyllic, and relaxing. Now imagine that beautiful picnic being interrupted by a mob of angry townspeople carrying torches, clubs, and all manner…
Terrorizing innocent people is hard work. They scream, they run, they fight, they often shoot at you. Not all monsters are cut out for that kind of work, and even the best of the best get tired of kidnapping kicking women and running around in the cold and dark. Luckily,…
Many monsters are quite playful, and will do cute things like hide under your bed or gnaw on your face a little to show you how much they like you (see previous posts). However, like a rabid yellow dog turning on the kid who once played with it, some monsters…
“Home is where the heart is.” Humans think of the homes of their youth as filled with love, warmth, understanding, and comfort. But monsters get sentimental too. The homes, or pods, of a monster’s youth are remembered as filled with sticky, glowing, mucous for nourishment, connected to a temporary, mechanical…
For millennia, man has tried time and again to find a way to live longer, if not forever. From Achilles to Ponce de Leon, great historical figures have fought for immortality, but very few since the age of the Old Testament have been known to live a full century, or…
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Featuring movie essays from the Head Monsters of SML and others that explore our love for horror cinema! Published by the Collinsport Historical Society.
