Hellhounds Handbook: Come to Dayton and Leave Your Cares Behind

Rules? Who needs them?

Not the residents of Dayton, Ohio.

A 12-year-old boy from Dayton recently did what every adventure-seeking pre-teen would do: go where he shouldn’t. This time, it was into an abandoned house. Oh, what fun and treasure may lurk in there. I can just imagine the magical stuff the young boy thought he would find.

Mummy_Chases_Archeologist_Clip_Art-1But, sadly, or possibly luckily (if you’re into the whole growing up quickly thing), the boy encountered a mummified corpse. The man had hanged himself in a bedroom closet in 2009.

For five years, the body just hung there.

Didn’t anyone miss this guy? Didn’t anyone think to check his house?

The boy immediately ran home to tell his mother (or, his Mummy, LOL). She later accompanied the kid to the house and verified the find.

The grass grew in front of this particular house for five years. The electricity was shut off. The taxes stopped getting paid.

So, what happened?

Nobody cared? Nobody came knocking for a wellness check.

Hell, even the mailman must’ve kept delivering junk mail, month after month.

But it didn’t matter.

Nobody ever thought the person inside might be dead.

Nope. Business just went on as usual.

This is why Dayton, Ohio, is the country’s most relaxed city when it comes to rules.

I have advice if you want to get lost or make it look like you’ve disappeared.

Just rent an apartment in Dayton. Have the power and lights turned on. Give the post office your change of address.

And voila, you’re gone, Jimmy Hoffa style.

Apparently, no one will know you’re there.



Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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