There’s a complete supremacy in immortality. The conquest of life over death that mere mortals can only chance, but in the end, never know. Over the years, one experiences many sensations. One sees regimes rise and fall. New generations build resistance against the sins of their fathers. And yet, they…
I heard you once told your mother you hated her for making you eat brussel sprouts. Betcha didn’t know they would become the “it” vegetable of 2016. Betcha feel pretty bad about making something over nothing. Because now your mom’s dead. Well, I’m here now, child. And I’m running this…
40 years. That’s nothing compared to all the terror I’ve survived in those decades. 11. The number of iterations in which this monstrous soul has inflicted trauma. $33.3 million. The record amount you’re willing to pay on an opening day in October to see whether I have the last laugh.…
You know what’s better than gnawing on a warm femur freshly torn from the body of a still-screaming victim? You thought we were going to say “nothing,” right? Wrong. Sucking out the savory marrow of a severed leg is delicious, don’t get us wrong. But sometimes, only something sweet will…
“Through their trials and tribulations, cheerfulness and heartaches, they had remained beautiful to each other. Although their youth and innocence had slightly faded, it was silently known among them they were no longer little ghouls. They were now little monsters.” —Quoted from Chapter 49 of Louisa May Alcott’s Little…
Monsters get restless in the days before Halloween! We’re not very patient creatures, after all. Over the years, we monsters have developed* a series of Halloween Week holidays to help us get into the spooky spirit while letting us create mayhem well before our neighbors are prepared. So, grab your cape,…
