DO NOT Watch this Film: An SML Anti-Review of “Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead”

Okay, so, disclaimer: I’m only writing this review to make sure that NO ONE EVER WATCHES THIS MOVIE. Seriously. Anyway, let’s get started.

From the….rather odd minds of Lloyd Kaufman, director of Toxic Avenger (something you’ve maybe heard of, plus a crap-ton of stuff you haven’t) and writers Daniel Nova and Gabriel Friedman (who, thankfully, have done little else) comes a tale of corporate greed, murder, ghosts, and the massive spread of a horrible mutating virus. Maybe. I honestly have no idea what the purpose of this movie was.

All I know is this: A greedy chicken franchise place opens up shop on what used to be an Indian burial ground (spooky!). Somehow, the food gets enchanted, or whatever, and then the fun begins.

Much like a zombie flick, there is a patient zero who eats the first ghost chicken wing (or drumstick or thigh or breast) and then begins to infect basically the rest of the small town where the movie takes place. However, instead of zombies, people turn into varieties of human-chicken hybrid things. Ridiculousness ensues from there, eventually culminating in the discovery of a way to kill the infected and the victory of the few surviving main characters.

All I really remember is horrible acting, atrocious writing, and racist undertones. At one point, a black man starts speaking with a bayou accent, begins clucking, and claims he’s turning into a blackened Cajun chicken.

There’s also a talking taco named Jose. And, I was truly at a loss for words during this scene, because I have never seen a movie employ a death by fisting. Just saying.

Again…DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. It was worse than the Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. There are no anti-homosexual sentiments there on my part. My only problem with the movie is that it’s awful.

But not as awful as Poultrygeist. Take my word for it.

Chris Moore is a freelance masochist and an aspiring wordsmith. His travels have made him a self proclaimed expert on all things frightening, odd, and entertaining. On breaks from jet setting and bourbon guzzling, he graces SML with pithy and satirical commentary on what – or what not – to watch. All hail the Maniacal Master of Movie Reviews! The second most interesting man in the world. Read more from Chris here.