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Home Posts tagged "ancient gods"

Tag: ancient gods

487. Monsters Like Creating the Entire Known Universe

Warning: this post is filled with factual history! Once upon a time, God, Vishnu, the Greek titans, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster were hanging out at Stephen Hawking’s house playing poker. One of the titans had a little too much ambrosia and started spouting off about all the cool things…

Read more…if you dare

Sarah G April 26, 2017 May 23, 2020

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: We Should Just Stab Caesar!

Don’t you just hate the Ides of March? Don’t you hate it mostly because you can never exactly remember what it means? You: Is it Ides today? Well, it’s not today. And you might be wondering why we’re telling you about the Ides on the wrong day. We just like…

Read more…if you dare

Megan Miller March 17, 2014 May 17, 2020

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: You Were the Wind Beneath My Wings, Hercules

Last post, we were like: Okay, you were like: But we had a whale of a time, and that’s all that really matters. So, let’s recapture that magic, dear reader. In our last post we learned about Hercules’ murder of Megara and their children. There’s something you need to know…

Read more…if you dare

Megan Miller February 24, 2014 May 17, 2020

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Disney, No You Didn’t!

Who’s that guy? Oh, yeah, who’s that guy? Disney told you, dear readers, when you were so small and sweet. Your muscles were tender, like a lamb’s, and you still had a healthy amount of baby fat that would have brought the flavors together. All you would have needed was…

Read more…if you dare

Megan Miller February 17, 2014 May 17, 2020

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Proud Niobe Keep on Burnin’ (Part 1 of 2)

A dear friend of Stuff Monsters Like, let’s call her Samara-if-she-had-advanced-past-the-age-of-early-adolescence, spent her 30th birthday adamantly alone drinking a 12-pack of beer and a fifth of whiskey until she passed out on the kitchen floor in her high school prom dress, which no longer fit. Now that’s not bad, not…

Read more…if you dare

Megan Miller January 27, 2014 May 17, 2020

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Putting the “Fun” in Dysfunctional (Part 3 of a 3-Part Series)

Click here to read Part 1, or click here to read Part 2 of the Orestes Saga. So, to recap: dysfunctional family is dysfunctional for generations up to Orestes, who has just learned that his mother and her lover have killed his father. Filial duty dictates that Orestes avenge his…

Read more…if you dare

Megan Miller January 20, 2014 May 17, 2020

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: And Father of the Year Goes to… (Part 2 of a 3-Part Series)

We ended our last post with Aegisthus, who killed his uncle after Atreus served Aegisthus’ father (*cough* and grandfather *cough*) his older children to him as a main course. Aegisthus killed again, but before we get to that murder, let’s look at the victim, Agamemnon. It’s difficult to think of…

Read more…if you dare

Megan Miller January 13, 2014 May 17, 2020

SML Ancient Correspondence ~ File Under: Awkward Family Tics (Part 1 of a 3-Part Series)

The holidays are finally over and that means it’s finally time to rid yourself of your family for another year. We here at Stuff Monsters Like know all about your family. We spend an inordinate amount of time watching them from the windows late at night and examining their things…

Read more…if you dare

Megan Miller January 6, 2014 May 17, 2020
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