You know what’s better than gnawing on a warm femur freshly torn from the body of a still-screaming victim? You thought we were going to say “nothing,” right? Wrong. Sucking out the savory marrow of a severed leg is delicious, don’t get us wrong. But sometimes, only something sweet will…
Being a monster is confusing. Who do you scare and who do you mutilate? Should you only do your monster business on Friday the 13th, or on Halloween? It’s hard to know the answers to these perplexing questions. That’s why monsters need guidance, some direction, that teaches you how to…
Because the 3-month Christmas season isn’t long enough, jewelry stores and confectionaries across the nation are asking you to buy into Valentine’s Day this weekend. The holiday was originally created as a commemoration of one of any number of Christian martyrs named Valentine, and today is celebrated in the U.S.…
Everyone is an “Artisan” these days, making things, handcrafted, the long way. Back in my day, if you wanted to create a beautiful wax statue of a human, you would just dip a human in hot, boiling wax. But these kids today. They’re so ambitious. They probably want to carve…
There are no rainbows outside today. But I know how we can get to the end of one anyway. Happy St. Patty’s Day.
When you’re life’s mission is to destroy all of humanity and reopen the portal to the underworld, you’re bound to run into a few snafus every now and then. It’s common to get angry and take your frustrations out on those pesky kids and their dog. On days like that,…
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Featuring movie essays from the Head Monsters of SML and others that explore our love for horror cinema! Published by the Collinsport Historical Society.
