“I’m not fat, I’m just big-boned.” “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” “I’ve got something better than a six pack; I’ve got a whole keg.” You mortals and your tiring obsession with your weight. We watch TV. We see the commercials: exercise machines and Weight Watchers programs followed by…
Just think about the logistics of resurrection for a second, will ya? When a person dies, their soul leaves their body. When a cadaver is resurrected, a new and different soul has to take its place to give life and character to the corpse. Oh, also, this new soul will…
“When you lose someone you love, they move into a special place in your heart.” But what if the one you love is Sparky, the funnest, most loyalest, best dog a boy could ever ask for? I say, don’t worry about the conversion ratio between human years and dog years.…
Being a corpse in Beijing is hard work. Call me an old fashioned capitalist, but I believe that a grueling day of labor deserves good pay. Oh, you don’t think being a corpse is hard work, do you? Well, I’ve seen people lined up at job fairs, I’ve seen people…
You may beat them down. You may chop off their legs. But that won’t stop the living dead. They have all the time in the world. They’re coming for you.
When you’ve been to Hell and back (usually on vacation in late July), the idea of death doesn’t seem so scary or pressing. In fact, knowing what’s on the other side can make you look forward to the prospect of dying. I know I, for one, am really looking forward…
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Featuring movie essays from the Head Monsters of SML and others that explore our love for horror cinema! Published by the Collinsport Historical Society.
