Statistically probable deaths are so boring. They’re ubiquitous. Most people will die from a predictable and probable death. These include heart disease, cancer, diabetes, strokes, and Alzheimer’s disease. Mostly brought on by lack of exercise, bad diet, or bad genetics. Most people you know, including yourself, will die from one…
There’s nothing quite like the stink of fear, am I right? Even from a distance, its ephemeral fetidness at once draws in and repels. Fear’s attraction reaches beyond those like us who seek out its victims for our own sordid gain. Indeed, the tendrils of fear’s temptations wrap around the…
“Ooh, Gina, the guy at the end of the bar is checking you out.” “No, he’s not, Becks.” “Sure he is. He’s not looking at me. Look!” “Oh, my gosh. He’s totally staring! What a creeper.” “Ladies, drinks compliments of the gentleman at the end of the bar.” “Gina, I…
Say what you want to about Romanians. But they sure do have a sense of humor about dying. Well, at least they do in the tiny little burg of Sapanta. When its residents pass away, they are lampooned for all eternity. I think this is what you call adding insult…
Would you come to my funeral and cry if I paid you? Funerals are supposed to be dismal and depressing. We’re told the dead are in a better place, or their passing was for the best because they were suffering. Many people like to remind us that the recently-deceased are…
Every now and then, a ghoul or goblin will return to the world of the living on the anniversary of their death. That’s all well and good, as long as the people you’re haunting realize the significance. “What’s the point in being a May 3 ghost?” their friends will ask,…
After a while, we monsters get tired of seeing nothing but grotesque gargoyles and griffins guarding buildings. How cliche is it to put a cross on top of a headstone? Be more creative, people! You know what’s creepy? Kids. Soul-less children encased in concrete for all eternity. And yet, people…
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Featuring movie essays from the Head Monsters of SML and others that explore our love for horror cinema! Published by the Collinsport Historical Society.
