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Home Posts tagged "dumb Americans"

Tag: dumb Americans

561. Monsters Like Inspiring You to Hurt Yourselves

Guys. The point of the movie was to not die. What are you doing? Running around blindfolded. Bumping into doors and posts. Injuring small children. Robbing banks. Crashing cars. You know what? Keep doing it. We’ll just grab a mojito, kick back, and watch. Thanks for making our job easy.

Read more…if you dare

Sarah G February 1, 2019 January 26, 2019

463. Monsters Like When You Split up into Groups of Two

Somehow, you’ve gotten yourself locked overnight in an abandoned mansion and your friends are dropping dead right and left. Somewhere in the house is a murderer. And if you don’t find them, you could be the next fine cube cut. “Let’s split up,” you say. “Find the killer before he…

Read more…if you dare

Jimmy October 18, 2016 March 6, 2017

130. Monsters Like When You Open the Tomb

We’ve been waiting for you. For centuries, we’ve sat in the cold, damp silence of our tomb. We’ve lost strength, we’ve lost body mass, we’ve slowly been eaten alive by flesh-eating beetles. But the one thing we have held onto was our hope. Hope that one day some dumb American…

Read more…if you dare

Sarah G June 26, 2012 May 24, 2020
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