You know what’s better than gnawing on a warm femur freshly torn from the body of a still-screaming victim? You thought we were going to say “nothing,” right? Wrong. Sucking out the savory marrow of a severed leg is delicious, don’t get us wrong. But sometimes, only something sweet will…
Ogres have layers. But creatures of the night like onions for a completely different reason. Sure, we are excellent chefs. Onions, shallots, and other pungent vegetables feature regularly in our home recipes and at dinner with friends. They help balance the taste of various meats and work great on the…
You may not know what you’re getting into when you pick up food at a gas station, but you pretty much know what you’re getting into. Dig? Hot dogs are bound to be as tough and leathery as your Great Aunt Ida after a trip to the beach. Coffee will…
You’re walking through the produce section of your local grocery chain, making a wide right turn around the garlic cloves. Suddenly, right in front of you: The largest cardboard bin of pumpkins you’ve ever seen! Big ones, small ones, many literally as big as your head. It’s a pumpkin smorgasbord!…
Help us celebrate Hug A Monster Day 2016 by showing appreciation to all the monsters in your life. Because monsters are people, too. Hug them. Show them off to your friends and family. Spend the day playing video games. Gorge yourself on Chinese takeout. Netflix and snuggle. Whatever you choose…
We don’t actually recommend this in the real world. Most of the time, if you love somebody, you love everything about them. But not monsters, especially Godzilla. His love interests must weigh like a bajillion pounds anyway. What do a few pounds extra even matter to a monster that is…
They say you should not play with your food. But the more clever the meal, the more exciting the chase. Don’t you agree? I, myself, delight in the sublime thrill of the chase. And the more worthy the prey, the longer I draw out the game, pulling and pushing my…
Because the 3-month Christmas season isn’t long enough, jewelry stores and confectionaries across the nation are asking you to buy into Valentine’s Day this weekend. The holiday was originally created as a commemoration of one of any number of Christian martyrs named Valentine, and today is celebrated in the U.S.…
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Featuring movie essays from the Head Monsters of SML and others that explore our love for horror cinema! Published by the Collinsport Historical Society.
