Top 5 People We’re Sacrificing to the Volcano

5. Tom Hanks as Joe

4. Mayor of Glendale

3. Charlie Sheen, because his Tiger Blood appeases the Gods

2. The last virgin on the Island

1. Little Timmy (that well doesn’t look so bad now, does it?)



Our monster mascots help us with our evil schemes, as well as taking care of chores around the mansion. From writing press releases to collaborating on blog posts, this blog would not exist without them.

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