181. Monsters Like Food Crafts

If you’ve been wandering through the desert, lost for days, and you see a vending machine in the distance full of cold drinks, it’s probably a mirage.

If you’re lost in the woods – and can’t find your way home because you were dumb enough to bring bird food to guide you instead of a compass and GPS equipment – and you come across a house made entirely of candies and sweet breads, it’s probably because a crafty witch ran out of children’s bones with which to build her house, so she turned to food crafts instead.

Knowing that, do you really think it’s a good idea to tear off the shingles of her home for a snack? Or to put your grubby little hands all over her nice peppermint door frames?

You greedy children just might deserve what you get.

Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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