13. Monsters Like November First

It gets cold outside in November. The leaves fall. Turkey dressing flows like red wine. And monsters get excited.

First of all, it’s the beginning of the off-season for part-time ghouls. Terrorizing people on October 31st takes a lot out of a  disembodied flaming horn-headed demon.

But November First also marks a special time for frugal monsters. Do you think those scary costumes are free? Nope. Monsters are just like the rest of us. They don’t get costume discounts until November First. This is when the seasonal Halloween stores have their “Everything-Must-Go-Fifty-Percent-Off” sales. Hockey masks aren’t cheap. And a hockey mask that drips blood and glows in the dark is a must have.

Monsters have to cut corners where they can and these seasonal sales are a smart way to save some cash. Trust me, you don’t want a spook chasing you while wearing a department store bargain bin neoprene getup. If you want your monsters to retain that high-quality level of menace you are used to, a smart monster knows how to stretch those dollars and make them really count.



Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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