8. Monsters Like Mad Scientists

It’s happened to all of us. You’re just lying there in some dark laboratory. A quick inspection reveals that you are nothing but a pile of body parts. . . a hand here, a tongue there, a pile of eyeballs and a few toes. No good monster can terrorize the public in this state.

That’s why you should be thankful for your mad scientist. He is mad. He’s also a scientist and he knows his stuff. Sometimes it’s hard to tell where the madness ends and the genius begins. But he is the only one who can put you all together and make you into a humongous, moaning, abnormal colossus.

When he is done sewing you up, he will want a few favors. But trust me, it’s a fair deal. You will have to do his evil bidding by going out into the night and brutally strangling people. But what a small price to pay for your assembly.

Looks like you have a few dangling fingers there. But no worries, I know a loose cannon who always keeps a drawer full of needles and thread.



Jim MacKenzie is an amateur futurist on his way to guru-hood. He studied journalism and works in television. Jim writes for several blogs, including The Incredible Vanishing Paperweight and the satirical horror site StuffMonsterslike.com. Jim and his SML co-blogger, Sarah Giavedoni, have started a holiday, ticked off celebrities and tried to purchase the lunar surface. In his spare time, Jim likes listening to rock music, reading, giving away free books at his nonprofit "The POP Project" and trying to catch the real Thomas Wolfe Home arsonist.

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